The Couch Series
by Alestina
Summary: A couch is a piece of furniture for sitting or reclining. It is designed to seat more than one person, and usually has a back and armrests. In homes, couches are normally found in the family room, living room or the lounge. They will also be found in hotels and parts of commercial offices, waiting rooms etc. Read the adventures of our favourite boys with different couches IronFrost
1. Chapter 1

**THE COUCH SERIES**

This is a collaboration between Alennah and Kris (xTenshix) ~

**Warnings:** Total Random Crackyness, OOC Avengers and Loki, Cussing, Adults acting like children, rating M (SMUT :D DUH), abusing of couches.

**Pairing:** IronFrost/FrostIron (WE DON'T KNOW YET D:)

Vote?

**Disclaimer:** Don't own blabla

**Kris:** Loki is mine blabla

**Lennah:** I'll take Tony blabla.

**Summary:** A couch or sofa, is a piece of furniture for sitting or reclining. It is designed to seat more than one person, and usually has a back and armrests. In homes, couches are normally found in the family room, living room, den, sitting room or the lounge. They will also be found in hotels and parts of commercial offices, waiting rooms, furniture stores, etc. Read the adventures of our favourite boys with different couches.

Couch description taken from wikipedia.

* * *

**The Couch**

_St_ark T_ower, Living room, 04:34 PM_

Loki fumed. How dare they choose this punishment? He was a God! They couldn't just lock him up in the frigging Stark Tower with those Avenger Apes.

Moreover they 'took' away his power. How? He didn't know himself, but he was sure to find out. An evil glint appeared in his eyes, when he thought about the things he would do to them. Especially to his 'brother' who agreed on this kind of punishment.

The thing he hated even more than the fact they 'took' his powers, he had to live with the Avengers. He almost, almost because Lokis don't beg, begged Thor to take him 'home'. Better facing Odin and the people of Asgard than staying in this horror tower.

Why he hated the Avengers so much? Well apart from the fact that they kicked hi- ...had been very lucky and defeated him, there were some other MAJOR things about them Loki didn't like.

First of all: Clint. He was so, unintelligent and barbaric! And lets not forget plainly annoying. He could actually have one of those arrows up his ass, if Loki didn't know any better. There was also the fact that he practically licked the feet of that stupid woman. Natalie? Naomi? Natashie? It Didn't matter, no name would make her less of a bitch. Well still she was more of a man than Clint or Steve. Talking about Steve, what a big pussy was that! Always thinking everything will be 'alright' and there will be 'justice'. Who is he, Batman? At least Batman has an awesome uniform and mask… Without stars and gay colours. AND THOSE STRIPES? Horrifying. What the hell had Fury been thinking when he let Captain Gay Pants out of his ice cube looking like THAT. And what about the big A on his forehead? Does is stand for Ass? Well I congratulate the one who made the costume, right on the spot.

Banner seems to be alright, such a shame he is so green. He's greener than Steve if you know what I mean.

Last but not least: Stark. He is sooooooooo infuriating. Everything he says, it annoys me. Well at least he talks to me, normally. As normal as you can call the interactions between us. Because since Thor went back to Asgard it's been quiet for me... But let's not stray from the subject. Stark is an ass, a big ass even. (Bigger than Steve and Clint together) And no I have not been looking at his good-looking ass.

Loki coughed, clearing his mind from images.

Okay enough about the group of idiots. My only amusement is starting: Project Catwalk.

What? Why are you looking at me like that?

* * *

"JARVIS, I need coffee." Tony was NOT amused. Why he wasn't? First of all, the Avengers were infiltrating his personal bubble because, they all lived in HIS tower. But lets not forgot about their annoying TRAITS. Hell, their whole being was annoying. He would make sure that next time he sees Fury... Well lets say that it won't be pretty for the dark skinned boss.

But the worst part: the so-called God, spread out on HIS couch, watching PROJECT FUCKING CATWALK. Who the fuck watches that?

"Loki…" "Yes, Iron Maid?" "I told you to stop calling me that… And if you want to sit on MY couch, then SIT on it, don't take all the space". "But I just feel like taking all the space." Loki grinned, taking another hand of chips from the plastic bag laying next to him on Tony's couch. Of course Loki made sure to make an extra big mess out of grabbing the chips.

"JARVIS, bring me another bag of chips, this one seems to be empty…" The God said.

Tony thought he would explode at any minute now. "JARVIS, don't bring that irritating wannabe diva another bag!" _"I'm sorry, sir, I'm already programmed to listen to master Laufeyson". _Loki threw him a cocky grin and turned back to the TV.

And that was the last straw, Tony snapped.

"ARGHHHHHHHH I'LL STRANGLE YOU!"

* * *

You can imagine what it looked like for the poor Captain Virgin when he walked into the living room. Seeing Tony on top of Loki on the couch, both screaming on top of their lungs. He was certain it was Loki who was screaming: "DON'T TOUCH ME YOU STUPID MAMMAAAAL!" But Stark especially sounded really intelligent with sounds like "RWAWAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH" It was probably because of Loki's hand in his face, which he soon captured and held above the raven's head.

Steve stood speechless for a minute, then turned pale, started screaming and ran away.

After the man of the house (Natasha) pulled the two apart, scolding them with a dagger to the throat, they both understood that they should stay as calm as possible (or ignore each other, what in fact was impossible) and either share the couch or buy a new BIGGER one.

They ended up sharing it, because they kept bitching about which colour the new couch should become.

Tony was propped up on the left side while Loki was spread over the right side digging his feet into Tony's thighs. The black haired devil looked all innocent, but the Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist knew better than that. Still he couldn't do anything about it because Miss I'm-Watching-You-With-A-Dagger-In-My-Sleeve was, in fact, watching them. Well more like glaring at them.

x

Natasha Romanov was quite amused, even if she didn't show it.

When Steve came running to her, crying and all snotty, she didn't expect 'that'. It was obvious the two men didn't realise in what position they were on that couch. Loki was laying spread out on the couch with Stark between his legs. Stark was strangling him with one hand and the other held Loki's hand to prevent him from doing anything. The best part was that, probably when Stark jumped Loki, Loki's shirt had been riled up. No wonder Steve had misinterpret the situation. Maybe this was going to be even more interesting than she had thought when she first heard they were all going to live in this tower.

That time she had put up an indifferent facade, but when everyone had left and she made sure NOBODY was watching her, she had squealed. SHE HAD SQUEALED, Natasha Romanov was happy, really, really happy. She even jumped! Watching all these boys and their stupid behaviour was going to be so much fun!

x

Clint Barton was not easily impressed. But hell, did Miss Romanov impress him. She was so, so, so beautiful and hot. He almost drooled.

But he couldn't let anybody know. No, he wouldn't let them have the pleasure to know his weakness. This was his secret and he would cling to it just like to his teddy bear... Oh, and did he already mention that he hated Loki? He hated Loki. A lot.

x

Bruce Banner kind of liked it in the tower. It was quite the building. He and Stark came down to the lab a lot. The ultra and super amazing lab, which gave him even more possibilities and resources to work on his projects. And having Stark the genius help him out wasn't that bad either.

It was fun to argue with Stark about technology and of course hear him talk about Loki. Because he talked about Loki, a lot. They all knew they were supposed to hate the God. But really Bruce didn't think the raven was so bad. It was obvious Clint hated the God as much as he loved Natasha but the others were quite okay with him. Steve was as always (well mostly) the goody-two-shoes about it and Natasha was as always just a bitch about it. But Stark, Stark talked way too much about how Loki made his life harder and how much he hated him etc. etc. Of course Bruce knew better than that.

Bruce mused to himself and then started whistling a tune while he worked on his new project.

* * *

**A.N.**

**Kris:** HELLOOOOOOOOOOO

As you noticed this was total random crack we wrote because we felt like it :D

This will be updated very soon… (NOPE BAHAH- *shot*)

**Lennah:** She didn't even write my whole name D: bitch. But anyway HOPE YOU LIKE IT :D

**Kris:** BAHAHAHA REVIEW YOU MORTALS OR MY PERRY ARMY WILL COME TO CUDDLE YOU TO DEATH

**Lennah:** …Just ignore her, she is weird UNLIKE ME :D So I'll ask you nicely: Review please?

**Kris:** I'm out of character ._. I'm a sir. Anyway cya next time guys!

Cheers!,

**A&K**


	2. Chapter 2

**THE COUCH SERIES**

This is a collaboration between Alennah and Kris (xTenshix) ~

**Warnings:** Total Random Crackyness, OOC Avengers and Loki, Cussing, Adults acting like children, rating M (SMUT :D DUH), abusing of couches.

**Pairing:** IronFrost/FrostIron (WE DON'T KNOW YET D:)

Vote?

**Disclaimer:** Don't own blabla

**Kris:** Loki is mine blabla

**Lennah:** I'll take Tony blabla.

* * *

**The Red Couch.**

Dinner was always a fun happening in Stark Tower. Well that depends on what you interpret as fun. If Thor was at the tower, he would cook, which mostly led to a disaster. Luckily, the God of Thunder was in Asgard, so Bruce took over his role. Which meant: green food. Bruce liked green food, broccoli, green beans, lettuce and go on. Today it was spinach with taters and some kind of meat. And no, that wasn't green (I think).

When everybody came into the kitchen (very cautious I might add) the first issue arised: who would sit on the couch. Yes, Tony Stark had a couch in his kitchen. He was Tony Stark, so he could do whatever he wanted, so he got himself a couch.

The couch was red and pretty high, because they still had to reach the table while eating.

Well to say that this was the favourite couch of the whole bunch was an understatement, so there was always a fight about it. They decided after the first disastrous dinner and a destroyed kitchen that they should take turns.

Today it was Tony's turn. He came last in the kitchen and to his horror there was already someone on HIS couch: Loki.

"That is my place, reindeer games!" "HA LOKI'D!" "Oh, my, God, you little piece of SHIT!" But before he could attack the God on HIS COUCH, he had a knife to his throat from the lovely Black Widow.

"Now, I said no fighting. So share the couch or go sit in the corner…" "Yes m'am." The brunet said quickly.

Natasha laughed gleefully to herself. The other occupants of the room sweat dropped at the antics of their 'friends'.

Natasha was happy. Again. The two boys were seated next to each other, and VERY close. Both their legs and arms were crossed and they were fuming, but close anyway. This was going to be a fun dinner.

**x**

Loki was again thinking about ways to kill. Hey, maybe he should write a book with the title 'How To Kill: An Easy guide by Loki Laufeyson'? He looked at Tony from the corners of his eyes. Tony was eating his food in silence, but was obviously thinking about something, or someone. Who the hell was he thinking about anyway!? Pfff he should have attention for Loki and Loki only. The God grabbed his fork rather annoyed and began to eat, glaring at his GREEN potatoes. For a second he thought they glared back.

**x**

Tony was thinking about the man (God?) next to him. Their legs were touching and it was distracting him. He saw the man glare at him, but choose to ignore it. Loki just couldn't stop moving around now, could he? When Tony turned to the God to say something about it he looked him right in the eye… and laughed. There, on the corner of Loki's mouth was, a piece of spinach. "Eating is hard isn't it, Reindeer Games?" "What's your problem, ass?" "This…" and Tony wiped away the spinach from Loki's mouth. Loki blushed and slapped his hand away. 'Oh my god he is cute when he blushes' Tony thought. "I can wipe my own mouth! You're not my mom!" Tony wiggled his eyebrow and said: "You sure about that, princess?" "SCREW YOU!"

The food went flying but Tony ducked on time and it went right in Steve's shocked face.

**x**

When Steve had seen the two of them acting like that he was utterly shocked. How can they be so close and so so so, perverted?! Steve blushed and shook his head and that was exactly why he hadn't seen the food flying right into his face.

He felt something mushy smash him in the face and then he felt the same mushy stuff, what he now thought to be the spinach, dripping down his face, onto his clothes. His eye twitched while he picked up his plate to throw it to the two laughing people at his right and hurled his taters away. But Loki saw it coming, took Tony by his head and made them both duck, which led to the fact that now Bruce face was green and it was not because he 'Hulked Out'.

Clint roared: FOOD FIGHT! And that's how it all started. Soon they were all teamed up: Loki, Tony vs. Clint, Natasha and Steve while Bruce watched with tears in his eyes while his precious green food went flying through the air.

Food was flying through the kitchen while Loki and Tony were hiding behind their couch to defend their 'fort'.

**x**

At that unfortunate moment another (unfortunate) God walked in on the fight. He stopped and looked around to find out what the hell this mess was, just to get a piece of meat against his cheek. The impact left an angry red mark on his face. He brought his hand up to his cheek and to his utter disgust there was meat juice all over his cheek and now also his hand. "What. Is. Going. OONN!?" "Ohoh" said Tony and Loki in unison and then they both cracked up.

While Thor chased the two around the tower the rest cleaned up the mess on the walls and the rest of the kitchen.

Bruce shook his head, then proceeded to get the needing supplies for cleaning up the mess the others made. He had expected this to happen, sooner or later…

* * *

The two pranksters were still running from the oaf, still cracking up and trying to hide halfway. After running around for a pretty long time, they decided it was enough. They ran back to the kitchen and hid behind their 'fort'. Thor saw them though and decided to smash their heads against each other. They both passed out from the force and Thor, who pitied them a little, lay them together on the red couch.

When Loki woke up he was quite warm. He went to snuggle the warmth, only to realise it was a human body, and it was definitely not a woman's body… He opened his eyes to see a bunch of brown hairs. "hmmm where am I?" a voice sounded. And that's when Loki realised it was Tony. Tony fucking Stark. "ARGHHHHHHH WHY ARE YOU IN THE SAME BED AS ME?... ARGH WHY ISN'T THIS A BED BUT A COUCH?" In his panic Loki kicked the brunet of the couch. "Ouch… Goddamned what did you do that for?" "YOU WERE CUDDLING ME!" Tony blushed. "Whuuut? I was?" he said still sounding a bit sleepy. Loki's eye twitched and he said: "JARVIS I want coffee... and an explanation" "_Right away sir" _

And that's the tale of how Loki and Tony first woke op together.

* * *

**A.N.**

**Lennah:** DADADADADAAAAAAAMMMMM! Drama ending muhahahhahaha

**Kris:** ...–soul flies out-

**Lennah:** It's an awesome ending though… So last time we didn't get that much reviews but we did get favs and stuff (THANK YOU) but please review too (A)?

**Kris:** Yes that would make us really happy and give us motivation to write :D Also thanks from me too!

**A&K**

PEACE OUT!


End file.
